when you’re sneaking a tumblr moment, and you’re scrolling down your dash, and suddenly every freaking post is ginormous pictures of penis and poon. and variants thereof (i follow some freaky folks apparently <3)
and there’s an old dude (aka the turtle dude) behind you. who likes to glance over at your screen.
and he happens to glance over and see whatever thing you attempted to scroll past as fast as the roller ball can go, and he aspirates on a chunk of the blueberry muffin he’s eating.
and all you can do is pray he doesn’t choke too badly.
because goddammit Mondays shouldn’t so gleefully (maniacally? diabolically?) make you have to perform CPR on the turtle dude
that awkward moment
when you hit reblog and instead of the post you meant to reblog, you see that tumblr has glitched and you have very nearly reblogged some devastatingly graphic pr0nz that happened to be the post on your dash just below the one you meant to reblog.
it’s a holyshitballsofmothereffingflamingfire/ohthankyousweetbabehjesus type moment.
duality. it’s a thing.