My weird fucking week trumps all y’alls weeks. Maybe even some of your lives.
We had this guy (we call him the Cool Guy Leprechaun cos he looks like one, but in a straw fedora/”cool guy” hat) bring his ramshackle POS boat into the yard last week. Since then, he’s taken to following around the women in the boatyard, offering to “lay on hands” as a “certified faith healer”, and has alternately both blessed and cursed this place to various levels of “the matrix”. He’s been stealing, and pooping in bags that he leaves next to the port-a-johns that are throughout the boatyard. And he capped off the week for all of us by nicking his neighbours’ wheelbarrow from their shop, and using it to steal an entire beehive from a local berry farm. And bringing it back to his boat, where the agitated bees promptly stung more than a few people. Dead bees everywhere. We called the cops, who hospitalised him, for 48hr observation, but who refused to arrest him for the beehive theft, probably cos they didn’t want to deal with it. We called all the farms but no one claimed it. Luckily one of the tradesmen who work for one of the boatbuilders in our yard actually has a farm, and keeps bees. He was able to remove the remaining bees and hive, and give them a home on his land.
Oh and there’s another dude from a fishboat that just came into the yard who literally smells like he shit his pants 30 years ago and has never washed since. I have to follow him with febreeze whenever he comes into the café or we’ll all die of asphyxiation.
There’s other things too.. But this is already too unbelievable and long..